In an earlier post, 5Ways to Make Sex Sensual, we said, “when you hear the word “sensual” you are most likely going to relate it to something sexual.” This may not ring true in all cultures, but the majority of Americans do create a direct correlation between sensuality and sexuality in their minds. In fact, thousands and thousands of people use those two words interchangeably. But, do they really mean the same thing? Is one truly synonymous with the other? We don’t believe so.
On the other hand, sensual experiences can most certainly lead to sexual experiences. Let us explain this a bit more to you.
The actual definition for “sexuality” describes it as one’s capacity to have sexual feelings as well as what one’s sexual preferences are. These are physical, animalistic traits. They can still feel good, but just performing the act of sex does not mean that you will explore the senses. Simply engaging in sexual activity does not mean that you will gratify your sensual self. Sexuality can be solely about lust and the desire to jump your lover, rip off his clothes and get busy.
Sensuality is slower and arouses, as well as gratifies, all of the senses. Moving sensually could mean a slow sway of your hips or running your hand slowly up your lover’s chest. Mmm, the sway of your hips will increase the flow of energy moving throughout your body and you can take in the feeling of this while those sexy and sensual movements visually stimulate your partner. As you can see sexy (sexuality) and sensual (sensuality) can start to integrate at this point.
Leaving out sensuality and only focusing on the sexual you can miss out on the potential for extraordinary sensations, mind-blowing orgasms, and an out-of-this world climax. Becoming fully aware of the sensations within your body and soul during lovemaking is what makes it sensual. In a sense, it is still animalistic. After all, most animals can hear, smell, taste, see, and feel. But, moving it beyond just a quick sexual encounter gives both, you and your lover, the opportunity to savor the feel of one another’s touch, relish in each other’s natural smell (or soap or cologne), soak up the glorious view of your bodies, taste the deliciousness of each other, and bask in the whispered words, moans, or sexy screams that escape you as you pleasure one another.
Awakening your senses and then exploring how to gratify your and your lover’s senses can take you on a phenomenal journey. In fact, according to a teacher from the African Dagara Tribe, that is what “lovemaking” would translate as – going on a journey together. When the two of you bring more sensuality into your lives you will come to understand that it is not just about sex, and you can share sensual moments with your partner anywhere, anytime. That shared journey can start long before the bedroom and last extensively afterwards. You can reach over and draw little circles with your finger on your lover’s wrist at dinner. You can place your hand on his/her back and rub lightly while walking down the street. You can wear clothing or jewelry that you know your sweetheart finds appealing on you. These are just a couple of examples. Adding this aspect and expanding the sensuality in your relationship will open the two of you to a deeper soul connection. Not only is it likely that your souls will blend together more freely, but it is also true that you will open more easily to a reconnection with your individual soul.
This leads to a greater possibility of transcendent sex, which means you gain access to the Divine through lovemaking (and that has nothing to do with being religious or not). Your creative energy will flow more freely, you will gain a new level of confidence in daily life and yep, you will actually have a natural glow.
So, awaken to the powerful difference between “sexuality” and “sensuality”. To recap, sexuality is focused on the sexual act while sensuality focuses on pleasuring and gratifying all of your senses while connecting to your souls. Coming to this realization can not only enhance your lovemaking, but help it transcend basic, animalistic gratification.
Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D.
Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D.
Rob Alex, M.Sc.